This trip occurred in September 2006

Dear all

A trip to Prague to present at an external  leadership conference. I normally present on my own but this time was due to present with my colleague Maike.

We landed about the same time, and had agreed to meet and share a taxi.

Coming out of the airport I was immediately struck by the change in the taxis. I had last visited Prague about 9 years previously, when taxis were often beaten up Skodas, there were no seat belts, and the driver rarely spoke anything other than Czech. This time the airport taxis were smart, done out in a corporate brand, and with two young ladies in company jackets directing you to the cars. The taxi driver this time spoke good English.

The ride to the Corinthia Towers was fairly smooth, and it was interesting to see how the city has developed since 1997, including the regulation proliferation of branches of McDonalds, and of course the ubiquitous “Irish bars”. (Not very well known, the O’ Janacek family).

Arrived at the hotel which seemed rather remote, so we decided to eat in the hotel that night. The hotel had more than one restaurant, and we opted for the “Italian”. I’m afraid the Czech version of Italian didn’t quite make it, and I always feel frustrated on signing off a bill that you know is way more than you would pay in a regular restaurant.

Off to my room to make some last changes to the presentation, and ready for the big day.

Breakfast with Maike to discuss the presentation flow (again the hotel’s interpretation of bacon and sausages was interesting…), and off to the conference room.

One thing I need to mention is that I had a major problem on this trip. I am prone to very occasional asthma and also eczema (they seem to go together). I am rarely troubled by the eczema but every couple of years I get a major problem on my feet, such that they completely object to wearing any socks and shoes, and swell up in a mass of sores, etc. This week I was having such an attack, and could not comfortably wear shoes. This is not very helpful in a professional environment as being barefoot is not usually encouraged, so the best compromise was to wear socks and a pair of flip flops which I could slip off when sat at a table. I did explain to the delegates my dilemma- I am sure they thought I was very Silicon Valley.

Our presentation went extremely well and was very well received. I think we often underestimate how groundbreaking is some of the work in our company, and see only what could be better at what we do, whilst underestimating how ground breaking it appears to many companies. It was interesting that stuff we take for granted was considered impressive by many peers.

One other thing which I am sure helped our success was the observance of Gary’s first law of conference speaking.

This states:

·         If you want to stand out for the right reasons at a conference, make sure your presentation actually addresses the topics used to advertised your speech.

Obvious, I hear you say, but as a regular speaker I am constantly surprised by senior people who stand up at a conference and give a standard presentation on their company, without addressing any of the topics that people paid money for to hear them discuss. I always structure my agenda around the items that were in the promotional material to drive home the point that I am talking about the things they signed up for. It’s amazing how this single thing can make you stand out so drastically.

Of the seven presentations that day, I would say only two followed this principle.

IN the evening Maike and I had a quick beer and post mortem on the day, and took the bus. The conference organizers had organised to take to an allegedly authentic Mediaeval banquet. We were bused to another hotel, which had a large dining hall at the side, to be welcomed by guys in mediaeval costumes. The evening began with music with some excellent playing on reedy woodwind instruments and drums. One thing I was impressed by was that all three musicians could play all the instruments well so every few songs they would swap roles with no harm to the music- they were excellent players.

If Czech mediaeval food was disgusting and inedible then the chefs are to be praised for their authenticity. Tepid soup, greasy unidentifiable stew with dumplings like bricks, the fresh fruit was OK, (were bananas known in the Mediaeval Czech republic?).

During the meal we had other entertainment. In addition to the musicians there were a trio of attractive young ladies in floaty (presumably traditional) dresses performing Czech dances (I assume they were Czech).

After this there was a loud crash, and some other guys in quasi Mediaeval gear came out and announced that they would be sword fighting. “But where is our queen?” shouted one, and dived into the audience to find a suitably regal person.

Back they came with Maike in tow and she was suitably robed, crowned and enthroned (she looked very regal too).

They then had a series of staged battles which were well choreographed and could have been very dangerous if less skillfully executed.

More nerve-rackingly they proceeded to get two guys and two girls to have fencing matches. The lady’s duel was a little one sided as one lady really didn’t want to hurt anyone, whereas her opponent was much more warlike and quickly won.

The organizers then had the winner of the guys’ duel fence against the winner of the ladies’. They caused some amusement by saying that to even up the physical match the guy would have to fence hopping on one leg. Given his bloodthirsty female opponent I wouldn’t have rated his chances on two legs, so he was swiftly defeated.

The evening moved on to more floaty dancing and at this point I needed the rest room, so I disappeared for a few minutes. When I came back I was subjected to a mean deception. On returning my colleague opposite (European MD of a well known HR outsourcing company) had acquired a very silly looking pirate hat.

“Your turn to wear the silly hat, Gary” he said, and being a good sport I obliged.

What he hadn’t told me was that the floaty ladies were targeting the hat wearers for participating in the folk dancing, and I didn’t realize this until I was approached by a winsome young mediaeval damsel.  I don’t know the Czech for “I have bad eczema and my feet are sore” so gave up trying the sign language, and followed her out.

The next three minutes were hardly the most aesthetic in dancing history, as I hobbled around trying to keep up with the sylph. Fred and Ginger it was definitely not, more Beauty and the rheumatic limping rhino, but as any helpful teammate would, the Queen whipped out her mobile phone and took a picture for posterity. Because the light was so dim, the photo isn’t very clear, which is perhaps a mercy for us all.

I should have known, you just can’t trust an outsourcer (or your team mates).