Off to Vienna for another HR training week. I haven’t been to Vienna for years so was really looking forward to it.
My trusty driver Paul delivered me to Terminal 4 and we had a suspiciously easy ride to Heathrow, and an uncannily easy path through check-in and security. Knowing my luck with travel I was immediately expecting impending doom.
Spent some time in BA lounge drinking a cappuccino. I was amazed to see two guys knocking back champagne at 8.30 in the morning. Just because it’s there doesn’t mean you have to drink it.
Plane took off more or less on time, (thereby increasing my nervousness) and the delights of a BA economy breakfast. Interesting argument between a passenger in front of me and the cabin crew. Our plane took off at 10 UK, so it was 10.30 when the crew came round with the frozen sandwiches. Given it was 10.30 they were serving tea and coffee. This guy was arguing that as it was 11.30 in Vienna it was time for wine and insisted on being served two bottles of the red.
Landed on time and met my colleague Catherine at the luggage carousel. Catherine cheerfully told me that last time she had visited she had waited a long time for her luggage to find they had lost it. “So this is where disaster strikes” I thought, but no, our suitcases came out rapidly, and we were soon in a taxi having an uneventful ride to the hotel. There, I’ve said it- a complete trip to door to door without delay or disaster. How can I write a travelogue if nothing happens?
Checked in and unpacked and then down to meet Anja to agree the final arrangements for the learning week. If I am worried when travel goes well, Anja is the one who worries when the arrangements are going well. Spend a couple of hours trying to persuade Anja (unsuccessfully) that we have taken care of everything and there’s nothing else to worry about.
When we finally finish I check some email and go for a walk. The hotel is on the banks of the Danube and it’s a glorious day, so I walk down the river and watch the boats and barges sailing up and down the wide river. Reach the local marina and watch the various owners playing with their boats.
Back to the hotel, as we have invited the speakers and trainers to join us for a session to answer any last minute questions they may have. They are obviously not interested, as none of them turn up, so Catherine, Anja, Benoit and I have dinner together. Finished just in time for the drinks reception with the delegates (it’s a tough job sometimes). The delegates are different this time. In Berlin they were more concerned with getting to bed early- here- possibly because of the warm evening- they are ready to stay up late, and there is lively conversation and a lot of laughter. Seems like this is going to be a lively event.
Tuesday morning, and we all meet in the breakfast room for Catherine and Benoit to launch the event. I’m off then to HR 101, meeting a very lively bunch of new HR joiners.
This time I get to do a different presentation to my usual one which is a fun change. In the afternoon go up to my room to prepare for the Wednesday social event. My favourite Russian Kate and I have agreed to put together a quiz. The purpose is to get people from different countries interacting together, so the idea is that we are looking to find a set of unusual (but true) facts about various EMEA countries, mixed in with a series of completely false ones. Spend a couple of hours researching the “strange but true” facts on the web.
Downstairs to close the day’s session. My job is to interview the Austrian HR team about local sights and cuisine. The two delicacies suggested are not to everyone’s taste, one sounds like an Austrian version of haggis, the other a form of blood sausage (or “black pudding” for the English). I also get to hand out the goodies – “Mozartkugeln” –literally “Mozart balls”- let’s just call them chocolates, and a Strauss CD for each delegate.
Another quick walk in the evening, but the area round the hotel (apart from the riverside) is less interesting. The hotel is next to a large conference centre so most of the local area is closed when there is no conference running.
Back to the hotel to get the bus for the HR 101 dinner. We are driven to a traditional Viennese restaurant and have a very nice private room upstairs. The food is a buffet that would give a dietician a heart attack (probably quite a few diners too). Incredible amounts of meat (including the local blood sausage), and all the vegetables fried in batter. Didn’t see “Kolesterolteller” on the menu.
Of course a tradition on HR 101 is that the new joiners have to give a creative presentation after dinner. This group live up to their potential, particularly team one, who end their presentation by breaking every health and safety rule in the book by forming a human pyramid. I guess after the cholesterol they figured they had little more to lose, but it terrified the waitress who is obviously a health and safety officer at heart.
At this stage we are joined by a group of musicians who are playing at the tables . They are very accomplished, asking each person which country they are from and playing something appropriate to their nationality (though why the Dutch lady got “Sexbomb” played is not quite clear to me (though you are very beautiful Els- don’t take offence). They seemed to be staying a long time, and my Austrian colleague whispered that they were expecting tips, so we bribed them to go away.
Wednesday, and I duck out of the joiners’ class to joinanother session. I wrote the material, but for this week had coached Kate and Catherine to do the delivery so I was only there as backup. It’s very hard for me to sit at the back of a session I wrote, but Kate and Catherine are tremendous and I am surplus to requirements (“situation normal” I hear you say).
Possibly my favourite two hours of the week. Kate and I have researched the “true” questions for the quiz, but we still need to make up some (hopefully) believable but untrue statements about countries, so we have a hilarious session making up rubbish about various countries but trying to make it look believable. (I love Kate’s idea about the Russian town which has vodka filled baths as a cure for skin complaints. I am also really pleased that I managed to persuade 95% of the teams that salsa dancing was the most popular hobby in Latvia).
Print the quiz at lunch time, and now I am delivering a coaching Train the Trainer (TTT). With Anja, Noel and Alex in the class it’s great fun. Also given the large number of coaching exercises we take advantage of the sunshine and spend much of the afternoon out in the sun (I actually ended up with a bit of sunburn).
Our evening surprise is a little hard to keep secret, as a very large boat sails up to the hotel and docks next to the shore. Anja and I try to pretend we don’t know anything about it, but a man testing the Microphones booms out ein, zwei, drei and our company name which is bit of a giveaway..
At 6.30 we all board the boat (except for one person who apparently came down 20 minutes late and was left behind). It’s a beautiful warm evening and the boat cruises up the Danube, with beautiful views of the city. As people sip champagne we hand out the quiz. Feedback on the event is hugely positive.
It’s amazing how competitive our people are. Give them a competition and they will not ask about the prize, but just want to win. It was intriguing to see the chaos over the next hour, with people trying to cheat, trading answers, and sometimes giving false information to mislead other teams, but it was great to see that we created the interaction that we had hoped for. I’ll particularly remember Tim from Germany who was really out to win at all costs, lying, cheating and horse trading answers.
The Danish contingent were unhappy with me as I hadn’t included any questions about Denmark. I pointed out that some countries were only included because I had made up lies about them, but they were not impressed with this argument.
In parallel to the quiz, we also had a Viennese couple who taught us all how to greet each other in the Viennese manner, and also polite usage of cutlery (this causes some amusement- “do they think we are savages?” says one colleague).
Another cholesterol buffet, Kate and I mark the quizzes and announce the winners.
“So what’s our prize?” said the winning team.
This is where we get mean. Our Austrian hosts are also dance teachers, and we are all about to receive waltz lessons, so I am able to tell the victorious team that they have won the valuable prize of first try at the waltzing.
I am also able to report that waltzing is another item on the long list of things for which I have no talent whatsoever. Anja is helpless with laughter at my pitiful attempts (and she is not alone), and my claim that I am actually performing Latvian salsa is not believed.
As the boat sails back we have a funny conversation in which our French friend Stephane unexpectedly acquires the nickname “Stevie baby”, (why do the names people hate become the popular ones?), then finally we dock.
Thursday morning and I finish the class delivery, and hand over to the colleagues who have to teach the material back to me. In this role I have to play the role of a difficult student to stretch them and test their ability to respond to challenging students. As you can imagine this is a task which gives me no pleasure at all- and for most of the afternoon we are all laughing as I do my utmost to be a real nuisance- Anja pokes me at one point and says “you are SO nasty”. “Well it’s for your own good”….I convince myself.
A quick wrap up and Catherine and I take the cab to airport. The airport lounge is very hot and uncomfortable in the sunshine, and hurrah- the flight is shown as delayed.
Finally board the packed BA flight and leave an hour or so late. It’s good to be back to normal.