A trip to Milan to run an event. The flight to Malpensa was uneventful.

Malpensa is the newer airport for Milan and is improbably far from the centre. Not wanting to pay 85 Euros, and having enough time, I caught the train (10 Euros) and took a cab to the office. First part of the session went well, and in the evening I caught the metro into the centre. I had booked my hotel (Hotel “Genius”) through a late booking site and it was suspiciously cheap. When I arrived I found out why. The rooms were very old and in particular the bathroom basically had a shower fitted with just a drain in the floor- no shower tray so when you took a shower you flooded the floor until it drained away. The bathroom also did not have obscure glass and the curtains didn’t cover the windows, so you were relying on the layers of grime on the glass to preserve your modesty.

Out for a wander to find somewhere to eat. I found a fairly unremarkable restaurant nearby and had a reasonable meal. It got to 10.30 and the restaurant seemed to be closing, but at this point the manager went to the door and helped a big guy in a wheelchair inside.

As the staff tidied up it a chess set was produced and the guy in the wheelchair was sat watching, soon joined by the manager.

I have always loved chess and used to play seriously, so I asked if I could watch. There is an immediate fraternity between chess players and I was immediately welcomed.

The first game was interesting. The restaurant manager played in a fairly classical style, but the guy in the wheelchair had a quirky, disruptive style and slowly undermined his position, winning with a combination.

They signaled that I should play him, though I had only intended to watch.

I play fairly classically too so was apprehensive that I might go the same way, but instead all went well and I soon built up a crushing attack. I was an instant celebrity as the wheel chair guy was clearly considered the champion, so I stayed on playing the manager, and several waiters. We wrapped up far too late and I wandered back to the hotel.

IN the morning I Metro back to the office and another session. In the evening I took the metro back to my hotel. Obviously there was no question about where I would eat. Back to the same place, where I was welcomed like an old friend and had a great meal.

I didn’t maintain my 100% record. Playing my friend in the wheelchair, I caused considerable consternation when I offered a draw in an ending where I had an extra pawn but we had bishops which controlled opposite coloured squares. I tried unsuccessfully to explain that it was a theoretical draw and not worth playing out, but they obviously thought I was wasteful.

Finally in the last game, I got a little careless, allowing the manager an opportunity to sacrifice a rook to blow apart my castled position and I resigned with mate inevitable.

As this was the last game on my last night this was diplomatically a smart move, but I have to say he outplayed me.

The next day and on to Sofia. I caught a cab from the hotel to Linate (the old airport)- they really are letting this run down. A scary period waiting for security. For some reason they had only one scanner operating and the wait was over an hour, to the accompaniment of a screaming match between passengers and the few security staff who were there.. In the end I persuaded a security guy that I would miss my flight if we carried on like this, and he sent me to the business class security.

The flight to Rome landed slightly late and we did not stop on a stand and had to wait for buses to the terminal. Although I had an hour between official landing and take off for my connection I had to make my way from one end of Rome Fiumicino airport to another, which uses up that time. I even had to catch a train part of the way. In the event the connection was tight and boarding well underway when I arrived at the gate.

The flight was uneventful apart from the extremely disinterested service- I’d forgotten how patchy Alitalia can be.

I landed in Sofia and had to wait. The office had booked me a transfer with the hotel shuttle. They want to make money so I had to wait 45 minutes so that the same bus could pick up a complete stranger coming in later. Sofia was deep in snow (I hate snow).

We finally arrived at the Hilton and I checked in. The walk from the bus to the hotel entrance was treacherous, so I was sure I was not going to leave the hotel that night.

Having unpacked I went down to the restaurant for a meal. The lady who served me was a delight- pretty, attentive and gracious. The food in these chain hotels is always expensive for what it is. I had something that’s allegedly a Bulgarian Christmas speciality- didn’t see what the fuss is about.

The next day and I’m attending a conference for the top 200 managers in our Bulgarian company. I was introduced to the General Manager, a very nice Greek guy.

The day was interesting although some of the sessions were in Bulgarian so I couldn’t follow (sometimes I sneaked out to do email). The hotel in which the conference was held was called hotel Moscow, and did a great impression of what I imagine a communist era hotel would be like. It was very tatty and run down. The food when they served lunch was disgusting stodge, but my colleagues descended like locusts and the food ran out.

End of day one and there was due to be a formal dinner in the same hotel. I went to a small bar area, and bought a beer for myself. Nikos, the GM, joined me again, and I bought him a beer as well. We had a long chat. Nikos is a Greek and his wife and six year old daughter live in Athens. He goes back every second weekend to see them.

Dinner again was fairly awful. I was chatting at the table when a very elegant young lady came and sat next to me and started studying my face earnestly. This is rather disconcerting so I asked politely if I could help her. She explained that she was the translator who would simultaneously translate me into Bulgarian, and that as preparation she wanted to tune in to my English. It really cramps your style when you know you are being watched that closely.

Anyway, dinner and speeches over, the floor was cleared so that dancing could begin. Thankfully I was driven home at this point after a quick skete across the car park to the car.

Friday morning and down to check out. I was amazed at reception- the guy looked at the computer and disappeared for a minute. He came back, gave me a small package and wished me a happy birthday. I have no idea how they knew. (The present was a Hilton key ring that fell apart after a week, but it’s the thought that counts…).

The day of my presentation. It’s quite difficult to present when half your audience is listening through headphones. You have to learn to pace yourself so that they can catch up through the interpreter. Also when you make a joke, there is a time lag between those who understand it in English, and the second wave who hear it in their language 5 seconds later.

My presentation was not helped by a power cut in the middle of my talk. It was quite spectacular as I had just clicked on a remote clicker to advance the slide when all the lights went out.

“That’s quite a remote control you have there” shouted Nikos from the front row.

Anyway after 10 minutes or so power was restored and I finished my talk.

Suddenly the lights went don, loud music struck up. My colleague Anna started addressing the audience in Bulgarian. They broke out into applause and I realized she had told them that today was my birthday. My colleagues from HR marched in with a lighted birthday cakes and gifts which they presented to me. I arranged for the cake to be sliced and we shared it with the delegates- I was a popular guy.

Among the gifts was a nice bottle of wine ina presentation box. This was a problem for me.

I don’t like checking bags in so have a pilot bag which I use for travel. I can get 5 days clothes plus my laptop plus papers but there is no extra room. A bottle of wine has to be checked in. I had to rearrange. I didn’t want to check my laptop so I had to remove my laundry bag, pack the wine and put my laptop into the dirty laundry.

Conference over and I was driven to the airport by the most miserable of taxi drivers. I have yes to see Sofia in sunshine, and the frozen streets and grey skies did not lift the mood.

We arrived at the airport without incident. I was too early to check my bag in so bought a beer at a bar waiting for the check in desk to open. My phone rang several times with calls. Finally the check in desk opened and I went through security to the business lounge.

Sofia only has only business lounge which is used by all airlines.

One feature of it is that for a (fairly exorbitant) fee you can buy your way in even if you don’t qualify. I noted that for future reference.

Eventually the display said the flight was calling so I wandered down to the gate. Evidently this was a ruse to make sure we all went there, as we waited another 45 minutes before anything happened, and the flight was already considerably late.

It was a miserable flight with poor service from the Olympic staff. My bag was slow off the carousel. My car was waiting but by the time I got back to my apartment it was after 10pm. My plan to celebrate my birthday at Stavros’s was dashed- I was too tired to bother.

So I celebrated my birthday by heating a frozen pizza.

Judging by the taste I think it was manufactured by the hotel Moscow in Sofia.

Is this what they call jet-setting?

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