A trip to Copenhagen to speak at an internal conference. Boarded the plane which was held up due to late boarders- the last being my colleague Albert- the EMEA HR Director.Uneventful flight after that, though when we landed at Copenhagen the Danes had their own attempt at controlling immigration by only having one immigration officer checking passports- leading to an inventive version of “queueing”.Anyway Albert and I collected our suitcases (Albert disparaging the colour of mine)- ok, it’s a gaudy red- but very recognisable.Checked the address on my laptop and off to the flagship Radisson SAS hotel in Copenhagen. (Previous readers will remember that I stayed in a different Radisson in Copenhagen last time). This one is the one with the in-house casino. I was very impressed with the leaflet I saw in my room, from (allegedly) the CEO of SAS Radisson, telling me that they were so keen about my client satisfaction was so important that any problem however minor should be reported for immediate action.A few minutes to unpack and down to reception. Saw Martin and Ralf in the bar/restaurant. (Martin you may recall as the guy who gave us the cheerful prediction about it being the unluckiest day in 400+ years when we took the seaplanes). “Uncle” Ralf, one of the nicest guys on the planet, and nicknamed for his avuncular manner, he of “The right to die” headline (see my posting “Nobody loves you when you’re down and out”) was just finishing a dish. Albert joined us and suggested dinner. Martin pleaded that he had to do some work ( as it turned out the internet was down). Ralf said the food had been insubstantial (and poor) and that he would come with us.“You can’t go out with Gary-every word you say he writes down” said Martin. Wrong Martin- only if it’s interesting. Anyway, Ralf, Albert and I were off in a taxi to Tivoli. A great walk around in the cold and wintry weather, but with the lights and the freshness of the air by the water it was magical.Dinner at a workmanlike Italian restaurant, another walk around the fairy lights and a cab back to the hotel.  Called home and decided that I’d have one more drink before bed. A terrible time trying to order – the barman clearly had attitude and spent a long time ignoring several customers. In true British style I didn’t complain directly but resolved to test out the CEO’s complaint process and wrote a long commentary. Early start next day as we were bused to the Copenhagen conference centre. Before leaving I handed in my complaint. The Copenhagen conference centre is a modern, functional building, and in the December weather was shrouded in cold mist. The building itself is cavernous, especially as we were the only people there. Long day and back to the hotel for an awards dinner (held  in the hotel itself). Had an hour or so before the dinner (no response to my complaint). Went for a walk around a very deserted business area, calling in at a bar because I needed the rest room. People very friendly but I realised I had inadvertently  interrupted the Copenhagen speed smoking championships.Back to the hotel (no response to my complaint), and changed for dinner (necessary as my 20 minutes in the bar left me smelling like an 80 a day veteran.Dinner was according to a formal seating plan, so I sat at my appointed table. A few people I didn’t know joined me, notably a lady from a training consultancy  who clearly had a mindset of femme fatale.I may be unchivalrous in describing her as “a little older” but she was definitely overdoing the spiked hair and the skin tight costume. She struck up conversation, and I was struck by the husky (and it seemed to me affected) voice. There is a very old British actress called Fenella Fielding who made a living out of playing husky man-eating roles.Anyway Femme Fatale Fenella rapidly transferred her attentions to a distant colleague who was clearly more absorbed in her plunging neckline. I have already said that I dislike expensive hotel meals, and this was a case in point. I don’t know what we paid but I felt it was  a rip-off, especially as the only vegetables provided with the buffet meal were the vegetarian dish. When carnivores unknowingly took the vegetables, they left their vegetarian colleagues bereft.Anyway I left FFF (or “Black Widow” as I had dubbed her) to her transfixed prey and went to another table.After a long conversation the suggestion was that we retire to the top floor bar for a nightcap.This proved to be fascinating. If last night’s barman had an attitude problem the lady running the upstairs bar made him look client friendly by comparison.Notably she stopped a colleague who had ordered a beer, on the basis that the bar was closing in an hour and having ordered a 330ml beer (slightly less than a US pint) she was not going to serve him as it was not guaranteed he would drink it in time.She was clearly bent on ensuring that she left exactly on time and spent the next 45 minutes haranguing people to drink up. Mr SAS Radisson CEO, is this what you had in mind? We were ushered out 5 minutes before official closing. I hope her hot date was worth the effort (and dissatisfaction caused).Checked out and paid Friday morning, and back to the conference (even more forlorn in the grey, misty and damp weather) get through the day and a coach to the airport.Still no response to my written complaint (and none to this day)- clearly the SAS Radisson CEO sent his letters to the clients and not the staff. I spent a few minutes thinking of new advertising slogans for the chain based on my experience, but let’s keep this polite.I had a piece of luck- I had a taken a very cheap- and late- flight and wasn’t sure I could check in so early but BA allowed me to.Into the lounge and was very disciplined in sticking to water for 4 hours of conference calls. Finished at 7pm local time to hear  the news that my flight was delayed an hour due to late inbound aircraft.About this time as I was transferring my attention to the Guardian crossword- if I recall right that day’s was by Araucaria- the very best crossword setter there is, and I was temporarily in heaven- when a HUGE guy walked through the lounge.  As so many business travellers do, he had ignored the baggage regulations and had too many, overlarge bags to take on the plane, and rapidly sat himself down- I wasn’t sure the chair was going to take the weight.Within minutes Mr Mountain was asleep and snoring in stentorian fashion. People close to him moved seats to get further from the noise. Some of us looked at each other and I heard someone say “If he doesn’t wake up when  the flight is called let’s not wake him.” I was in agreement.Anyway the flight was called and Mr Mountain did indeed awake. I boarded the plane and found my way to the back of the plane. Imagine my horror when Mr Mountain arrived to take the seat directly in front of mine.Economy seats are not overly generous in their space, even with average-sized people, but immediately after the seat belt sign was extinguished the Mountain reclined his seat to the fullest extent . I’m sure I exaggerate but with his bulk it seemed that his seat was  so distended that his head was almost in my lap.To cap off a perfect day Mr Mountain treated us all to his challenging neo- classical composition, “Concerto for airplane and LOUD SNORER”.Based on their apparent service ethic I wonder if the SAS Radisson will adopt it as their musak soon……..I don’t know what your idea of a fun Friday night is, but listening to a snoring virtuoso for two hours is not high on my list. Come back Black Widow, all is forgiven.